New year, Healthy me?

The one thing that no blog will be able to prepare you for is the feeling you get when looking in the mirror after yet another Uni bingefest. At university, the main way to bond with each other is through our love of food. We eat, we chat, we laugh then we eat again. And from that, we build a beautiful friendship. However, now that I’ve already created solid friendships, its time to stop replying ‘yes’ to those 12am ‘Let’s get food’ texts or those ‘Didn’t get the grade I wanted, lets eat our trouble away’ calls.

It’s been a week now, and me and the flat have been sticking to serving suggestions (which yes, sounds easy), ditching the snacks and going to gym classes four times a week. This week has been harder than any exam I’ve ever taken, but wish me luck with trying to keep it up through January; and maybe you’ll soon be reading posts from a new, healthy me.

Over and out,



Uni, Should I Be a Single Pringle or a Taken Bacon?

Hello Elle

Are you and your boyfriend still together?
No we’re not

Okay, and how long were you together before you broke up?
Just over 3 years

How long have you been at uni for? And how long have you been single at uni for?
I have been at uni for 9 months and i’ve been single at uni for exactly 3 months

Why did going to uni push your relationship to breaking point?
When you come to university, it is a chance for you to grow up, change from being at school everyday and change the fact that the only people you associate with are your friends from school and your parents. The lifestyle before uni makes it easy to think that your teenage lover is the one for you because you cannot imagine a world without them, a world by yourself and you cannot imagine a word in which you’re away from your 6th form. Coming to uni changes that. Bear in mind I saw my boyfriend every single day and spent most weekends with him too, it was impossible to think that we would ever not be together. There are so many things you’ve got to learn coming to uni, I was a person that couldn’t even cook for myself, I had to get into a routine, organise myself and adapt to a new lifestyle. The last thing I needed was to be thinking about someone else whilst I was trying to learn about myself

Did he do anything that made you feel that a break up was necessary or was it about you?
Thats a good one. The sad thing is, he didn’t. It was the perfect relationship at the wrong time. He would be the perfect boyfriend for someone else but not for me at this time in my life.

Do you wish you’d broken up sooner?
To me, it doesn’t matter when I did it because I cant ever go back, the reason I didn’t do it sooner was because I didn’t need to, we were happy and so in love. But I would say, if you were having any of those sorts of feelings, it would have been easier to have done it sooner because it seems that we worked so hard through the hardest months of uni- like freshers and the dark winter etc. It seemed a little pointless to do it when uni had all settled down and we were normal and content. So my advice to people would be, if you’re feeling it and you feel like you need to break up, then just do it.

Was breaking up a good decision? And what have you learnt from doing so?
It was a good decision, I’ve managed to build upon a lot of my friendships, I’ve built a lot better and more intimate relationships with pre existing friends and made plenty of new ones. I’ve managed to focus on myself and find myself. We started dating as children so now I think I’ve started to build upon actually finding my place in the world as a woman. So I guess it was a good decision. But its weird, you’ll never know, you can’t ever see the alternative path of staying together.

Have there been any other romantic prospects in your life?
I’ve had the option but I don’t want anything so I’ve avoided it. I currently just need to focus on myself and having fun really!

Uni can be seen as a fairy land, surely going back home and seeing them after the breakup must be hard, does it feel different?
It is the most difficult part about it all really, coming home is just a constant reminder of what things used to be and how they are now. Everywhere I look in my home town, in my house and in my room reminds me of him and everything is linked to some sort of memory, it is truly heart breaking but it is something that i feel will get easier and better with time. I need to make new memories with friends and start not to see things simply from the eyes of being in a relationship and form a new way to look at life.
Warning though, bumping into their parents unexpectedly, that is never fun. But it is something you need to be prepared for, at the end of the day you are young, you weren’t married, it is not like you owe anyone anything.

Finally, What would you say to anyone in this position, going to uni and debating whether or not to keep their current partner?
Im so torn, part of me thinks that if you’re debating it then you’re obviously not in the 100% perfect relationship. Also, if you’re around 18/19 going to uni then it hasn’t been long enough for you to have been with this person and to know that they’re 100% the one because you don’t know what else is out there. But on the flip-side, I don’t think its something that you should just rush into. Everything deserves a shot and you do have at least 3 years so it is not like you’re going to regret staying with them for any extra ‘thinking time’, don’t worry, you’re not going to regret missing out on freshers, everyone finds themselves in their own way and in their own time.

Always follow your gut, but always remember: there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Over and Out


Sweet Tooth

The first thing you need to know about University is that during Freshers you’re going to make a lot of friends that you’re not going to keep, or even know the name of, after the first week, however this girl (the lollipop) we’ll never forget. Mainly, because we see her everyday walking around as if she owns the place, but mostly because she’s the first person I know to have ever had a sugar mummy, despite her alternating sexual preference.

Now, when I tell you this girl was annoying I don’t mean the sound of nails being dragged down a chalk board. I mean an annoyance such as a fly nestling itself into your ear, forming societies, creating an educational system, filling classrooms THEN them dragging their nails down the chalkboards.
Let me name a few things that she has done, one thing I can say is she’s kept me entertained. Whether it be through her relentless coming over to my flat and pretending that her smoking addiction has gotten out of hand because she was on 3 a day, despite the Homeless Harbourer being on 20. She then continued to claim that quitting only brought on headaches so severe that the possibility of going to a lecture was too much, but turning up to my flat was easy. Thankfully for her, we always had a full fridge of food, something that she took advantage of fully. However, when she’d taken full advantage of us she started to walk past us in the street and regularly turn her head.

Despite choosing to lose my flat as her safe haven, she soon found comfort elsewhere pretty quickly. She started putting up snapchats with an older woman captioning that she was with her “ultimate bae”. Turns out she met her sugar mummy in the toilet of a nightclub, where she proceeded to do cocaine with her, the rest is history. Endless dates, being taken up The Shard in London, cocktails at The Alchemist and enough brunch to last a lifetime, who would say no, right? Clearly not the lollipop. She always did have a sweet tooth (that was really the one good thing that came out of our friendship: her bottomless stash of chocolate). But obviously the cravings of the girl I once used to know, have now changed to something a little more scandalous. She has traded in the trashy lifestyle of tally charting on her arm the number of guys she pulled in one night (12 was her best btw) to sipping on a well-aged mix of pussy, perfume and power.

If there is anything I have taught myself at university, it is that you should knuckle down, create your own opportunities and write your own future. There is no need to rely on a sugar mummy.
Stay classy,

Over and out

Freshers Threesome

It is exam season, depressing, boring, never-seem-to-not-be-snacking season. I am revising everyday, which means early nights and early mornings, getting up and saying hello to the library and saying goodbye to the clubs. All of this revision has got me thinking about the good times back in September, during Freshers, where we were care free and having a laugh with new friends every day.

Freshers was hilarious, I cannot help but laugh out loud remembering all the stories and memories but there is one story in particular that never ceases to confuse me and I want to share it with you:

The Homeless Harbourer, believe it or not, is actually a hit with the ladies, we found this out very early on when every girl would hit on him in the clubs and try it on with him… and it really didn’t take us very long to notice that he was regularly catching the eye of the other gender too.

One time I came home from a night out to find a crazy looking girl standing outside my flat, with her boyfriend on her arm, begging for me to let them inside. She claimed she needed to ask the Homeless Harbourer a question and insisted they needed to wait in his bedroom. Being the person I am, I really could not be bothered to gift these strangers with my presence any longer so I let them in, without question, to get them out of my hair.
It was a mistake.

Next thing I know the girl and her boyfriend have made themselves at home, under the covers, watching Friends on my flatmate’s laptop. I didn’t know what I couldn’t keep my eyes off more, the girl’s crazy hair that was flared across the pillow she had made her own, or the scene of them playing happy families in my flat.
(I know what you are thinking, I should’ve learned then that no matter what I feel, my flat is clearly open season for anyone)

A few moments later my flatmate came home and was even more confused than me about their presence, it turns out that they had been trying to chat him up all night, the pair of them and were wishing to stay the night with him. Yes, the couple and my flatmate, and I still struggle to this day to find anything remotely normal about the situation. He had to kindly remove them from his bedroom and disappoint them with the fact that he would not be saying yes to their…kind…offer.

The couple didn’t stay a couple for long, as you can imagine, less than 2 months later they were over. It seemed like a good thing at first but it only meant the crazy haired girl came crawling back trying her luck for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th time, each time unfortunately ending just as embarrassingly.

Moral of the story, be as resilient as this girl. Whether you fail or not, at least you know you tried. Maybe i’ll follow this philosophy during my exams.
Wish me luck

Over and out

The Brum Baby

Let me ask you a question. Countrylife, Lurpak, Anchor or “I can’t believe it’s not butter”? If you had to pick one, is there a difference?
Now, I know for some people it is crazy to think people could have a favourite, yet I also know there are people out there who only eat/use certain brands of things… but, in all honesty, can one really afford to be that picky when they are a student? Can a young guy at university really demand a particular brand of butter? More importantly, is he justified to be ungrateful for what he is given if he is requesting food, which isn’t his own, from a flat, which isn’t his own, a flat that owes nothing to him? I think not.

Meet the Brum Baby.

The homeless harbourer’s best mate is a 20 year old guy, a guy who is from Birmingham originally. Let me make this clear, he is from Birmingham, yes that means his family lives about 10 minutes away from our accommodation and are literally a simple phone call away from helping him or providing him with anything he needs. Including butter.
About 2 weeks ago the Brum Baby came knocking at our flat door, at 1am, demanding us to let him use our butter, not just any butter, he made it perfectly clear that he would not take anything less than Countrylife, the cheek. But we are used to it, we are used to seeing his painfully empty Tesco shop arriving every week, which is only full of Maoam sweets, biscuits, a pile of garlic breads and pizza bases. We are used to his endless moaning regarding the fact that he has to write the odd essay here and there. We are used to his childish games of trying to persuade his temporary parent (our flatmate) to have a “takeaway party” every night. And we are used to him crying and being extra paranoid whenever he thinks someone is giving him a dirty look, which probably means they are simply looking his way.

It is sad to be honest, to see a grown boy struggle so much with the simple things and be so totally dependent on anybody and everybody… no wonder why he didn’t move away from home, but personally, if I could give one piece of advice, if you think that you, yourself, are that kind of person, please move away from home…as far as possible.

Watching the Brum Baby has taught me to embrace university life as much as possible, to become independent, grow up and learn life lessons that I never would have any other way or anywhere else.

20 years old. 1st year at University. What did he really expect exactly?
You can’t be knocking on flat doors begging random girls to sew on buttons on your shirts so you can sell them on depop… take this opportunity to learn not to be such a mummy’s boy/girl.

Move away. Have Fun. Don’t look back. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Over and Out

Harbouring the homeless

Okay, so my university experience has been so abnormal since the second I started in September. It has been everything but what I expected, such crazy, yet amazing, things happen every day so it has come to the point where I feel it is just necessary to write everything down.

The strangest thing to have happened recently was last week when my flatmate brought some homeless men back to the flat after a night out. Full disclosure, he now refers to them as the ‘lads’. So anyway, the ‘lads’ came back with him, yes to our university accommodation, after an invitation to stay the night- an offer they simply could not refuse! After our flatmate saw our confused faces through the window, he barged into the kitchen, told us all to fuck off, making it very clear that he’d do whatever the hell he wanted; in fairness, he felt instantly remorseful and started apologising. They, the ‘lads’, stayed of course, helping themselves to a warm shower in the morning, good for them. I suppose, our flatmate was doing a good thing, right? You’d think. Although he gave them a roof over their heads and although he gave them money, £100 to be exact, he also gave these guys a shit ton of weed. So, it’s kind of hard for me to see how he aided them? Except from the fact that he probably moved them from alcoholics, which they had confessed to being, into druggies. As well as that, he moved them off one floor and just put them on another, but as long as he feels good about himself I guess? You win some you lose some.

The weirdest thing is, I kind of got it. Not at first, not when I had to sleep with one eye open, scared about the strangers in my flat. I mean, when he brought them back my first thought was obviously to take my ‘Slanket’ to my room… considering I’m a student that was the most valuable thing I owned, don’t judge!! But I did eventually get it, we went out a few days later and I saw this toilet attendant in the club, that i’d spoken to a few times, I literally wanted to give her everything I owned, I wanted to help her in any way I could. So, I got it, I too would’ve given her my whole degree! I must say though, it doesn’t make it any stranger that he thought bringing his ‘lads’ back to a flat, a flat he doesn’t own, was acceptable. Fingers crossed we won’t be having any unexpected guests over soon… but I promise, if we do, you will be the first to find out!

Over and out